Roadblocks to Change #3 — Friends & Family

Unfor­tu­nately one of the biggest road­blocks to making any sort of signif­i­cant change in your life is the people that form your support system. Your friends and family are the people you turn to look­ing for a boost or some assis­tance, but they may not be nearly as enthu­si­as­tic about your changes as you are.

The Why?

It’s quite possi­ble that neither your friends or family see any reason for you to make the changes you’re trying to make. They liked you just fine as you were.  If you want there help (and you’ll prob­a­bly need it at some point) then you’re going to have to find a way to explain the why to them or they may sabo­tage your efforts.

Indirect Sabotage

In most cases your friends aren’t going to delib­er­ately sabo­tage your efforts, but if they’re not on board with what you’re trying to do they can seri­ously hamper them.  Whether it’s bugging you to go out and drink with them when you’re trying to finish your project or buying you choco­late when you’re on a diet their actions will expose you to addi­tional temp­ta­tions and further chal­lenge your will power.

Direct Sabotage

In some cases, partic­u­larly with loved ones, they may feel threat­ened enough by the changes you are making to take more direct action to discour­age what you are doing. It is extremely diffi­cult to make major life changes with your wife or close family actively oppos­ing you.


So it all comes down to commu­ni­ca­tion. If you get these people on side they will be your biggest helpers. Other­wise they will create the biggest stum­bling blocks to your progress. It’s impor­tant to first figure out not what you are trying to achieve, but why you are trying to achieve it.

If you can explain why you want to achieve your goal, your friends and family will likely rally round you. At least the ones worth keep­ing will.

Lack of Support

As I think I’ve mentioned before I have a very small circle of people around me.  Outside of family I have maybe two people I would consider friends and one of those I work with. Quite honestly that’s a  completely inad­e­quate support system. However, it’s not likely to change any time soon. For a vari­ety of reasons, some of which I’ve touched on already, I’m not partic­u­larly comfort­able or in a posi­tion to expand my social circle.

On the plus side, this means that I don’t have to worry about my friends sabo­tag­ing my plans. Less posi­tively I can’t rely on them for much support either.

Other Posts In This Series

Are You Fail­ing Enough?

Road­blocks to Change #1 — Lack of Energy

The Myth of Willpower

Road­blocks to Change #2 — Fear

Build­ing  A Plan For Change #1

About Eoghann Irving

Overly opinionated owner and author of You can get updated on his posts directly on the blog here or through the usual social networking suspects. What? You expected me to say something interesting here? That's what the blog posts are for. Eoghann has often wondered if people read these little bio things we have to fill out everywhere on the internet and, assuming they do, why?


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